Live From Your Deathbed - How to Avoid Regret When Dying

Firstly, I’m not saying you should get yourself into a state of such bad health you can’t – or have no desire to – live.

Quite the opposite.

Regret comes from wishing you’d have done something differently. Comparing what happened to what could’ve been.

We place so much emphasis on societal expectations, trying to fit in, to do the ‘right’ thing. Sometimes you drift through the day and accept what is, because you haven’t been shown that anything other than what’s in front of you is possible.

It’s often not until you’re dying you realise none of it mattered, and that it really was possible for you.

Working Backwards 

Let’s do a little exercise. Make sure you’ve got something to write on.

Imagine you’re on your deathbed, looking back on your life. What are the five things you would regret not doing?

Don’t think about this too much, write down the first things that come to mind.

It might be that thing you currently want to do but keep finding excuses or reasons not to. It might be a personality change to give less of a f*ck or be kinder to others. Maybe it’s to let something go, like anger or a past grievance. It could be to spend more time with family and friends.

Now let’s do a second exercise. Whatever it is you regret not doing, and however you felt looking back on your life, what would you have to do currently to create that regret? What habits, mindsets, routines, and coping mechanisms would prevent you from doing the things future you wishes you’d have done?

Write it all down. You may find its very similar to how you live right now.

The good news is, now that you’ve got your goals – the things older you wishes you’d have done – and you’ve identified what would stop you from fulfilling them, we can work in reverse.

To achieve the things that would mean you aren’t laying on your deathbed with regret, do the exact opposite of what you would have to do to not achieve them.

This sounds so stupidly simple (and it is) but most people either ignore or don’t see that as an option. And if they do see it, they allow their insecurities, dread, and uncertainty to take over and keep them from ever changing anything in their lives.

Perspective 

You are a speck on a floating rock in an ever-expanding universe. No fears, doubts, or excuses are ever as deep or meaningful as you give them credit for.

All they’re doing is showing you where you are out of alignment with what you truly want, and where you are currently placing your attention.

So if you’re already thinking ‘Is this all there is to life?’ you now have an opportunity to change that.

If however, you’re reading this thinking ‘but I don’t have any fears or doubts about it,’ – yes you do, or you’d already be doing the thing. So much of living a life you love is being brutally honest with yourself. Finding where you are holding yourself back, and why you are doing so.

Not everyone’s purpose or goals are to inspire millions of people, or to solve world hunger, but doing your part and doing what makes you genuinely happy benefits everyone.

For starters, it makes you a delight to be around, which means others enjoy being around you. Secondly, others are naturally inspired by seeing you enjoy your life, and are more inclined to start doing things that make them happier. Maybe theirs is to start a business that would reach millions of people directly, but the faith that it was possible for them started by seeing you say f*ck it and living for you.

It’s a ripple effect, so never think that your part to play is small or insignificant.

This is what I mean by living from your deathbed. Anytime you feel yourself drifting, empty, or uncertain what to do, remember what older you would want you to do, and then do that thing.

If no one has told you yet, I hope you have a wonderful day. I’m here if you have any questions, and please know you are never alone in figuring things out.

Much love,

Darcey